Archive for January, 2009

South Bend’s Indominatable Spirit

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

I maintain that whenever my hometown of South Bend, Indiana, shows up in the national news, it’s because something extremely weird happened.

Whether it’s a marauding pack of dogs eating most of the wallabies in Potawatomi Zoo, a man stabbing his brother over a Hot Pocket, a small airplane landing on US-31 (possibly the busiest stretch of road in town), someone murdering homeless people and stuffing them into manholes downtown, or an elderly man tackling a naked crack addict who was in the process of chasing middle-school girls at their bus stop (oh, how I wish I still had a link for that last one), some seriously weird stuff goes on there.

But I’d be remiss if I didn’t also reference South Bend’s lively spirit, epitomized by the Chicago Sun-Times (via the AP) in their story, “83-year-old gets lost dancing at inauguration.

To quote the article, it doesn’t sound like he got lost at all:

Mussa Muhammad says his “spirit jumped sky-high” when President Barack Obama took the oath of office Tuesday. He became separated from his group and, he says, “just danced and danced” with a couple of young women he met along the way.

Muhammad’s tour group waited five hours for him, but left Washington after tour leaders spoke with his wife. Rev. Lefate Owens of Elkhart Community Missionary Baptist Church says she assured them that Muhammad would be all right.

He arrived in South Bend Wednesday, still wearing the black-and-white suit with red dots that he wore to the inauguration.

The South Bend Tribune article has more details (and a photo of the suit, which the AP description does not give justice). It’s a must read, even if you didn’t grow up there.

Update: The story made all of the local news channels as well. Some highlights:

NBC 16

Quote: “If there’s rhythm, it makes me move. This is how I missed the people. Girls coming from everywhere wanted to dance with me,” Muhammad explains.

How did he explain that to his wife?

“She knew. She’s the only lady in my life.”

There is also video of him dancing (but not in his suit).

WSBT 22 just have “Update: Missing South Bend Man Found in D.C.”, although they do add “Stay with WSBT.com for the latest on this developing story, and read more about it in Thursday’s South Bend Tribune.”

Finally, FOX 28 has a nice interview with the man and his wife, complete with footage of him wearing the suit, but there’s no footage of him dancing in it!

COME ON LOCAL NEWS, GIVE US WHAT WE WANT! Mussa Muhammad dancing in his suit! I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Taibbi Takes Down Friedman (Again)

Monday, January 19th, 2009


Writer Matt Taibbi provides another hilarious takedown of a Tom Friedman book, this time skewering the mustachioed moron’s latest effort, “Hot, Flat and Crowded.” Friedman’s hypocrisy and obtuseness are given ample space, but the best lines engage the billionaire New York Times columnist’s raging malapropisms.

 

(Taibbi summed up Friedman as follows while eviscerating his previous book, “The World Is Flat”:

[Friedman] has an anti-ear, and it’s absolutely infallible; he is a Joyce or a Flaubert in reverse, incapable of rendering even the smallest details without genius. The difference between Friedman and an ordinary bad writer is that an ordinary bad writer will, say, call some businessman a shark and have him say some tired, uninspired piece of dialogue: Friedman will have him spout it. And that’s guaranteed, every single time. He never misses.)

This time, it’s even easier for Taibbi:

My initial answer to that is that Friedman’s language choices over the years have been highly revealing: When a man who thinks you need to break a vase to get the water out of it starts arguing that you need to invade a country in order to change the minds of its people, you might want to start paying attention to how his approach to the vase problem worked out. Thomas Friedman is not a president, a pope, a general on the field of battle or any other kind of man of action. He doesn’t actually do anything apart from talk about shit in a newspaper. So in my mind it’s highly relevant if his manner of speaking is fucked.

Bush By The Numbers

Friday, January 16th, 2009

In their January 2009 “Index” feature, Harper’s Magazine has an excellent numerical breakdown of Bush administration events. The whole list is worth reading, but the following really stood out.

Percentage of Americans in 2006 who believed that U.S. Muslims should have to carry special I.D.: 39

Minimum number of detainees who were tortured to death in U.S. custody: 8

Number of incidents of torture on prime-time network TV shows from 2002 to 2007: 897

Number on shows during the previous seven years: 110

Number of states John Kerry would have won in 2004 if votes by poor Americans were the only ones counted: 40

Number if votes by rich Americans were the only ones counted: 4

Matt Taibbi Skewers Bush One Last Time

Thursday, January 15th, 2009


Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi bids our worst President farewell with a hilarious imaginary exit interview in the pages of his magazine. Bush’s incompetence, incuriosity and inability to do anything more than be a monstrous bastard are all giving their just summation.

 

There’s only an excerpt available online, but the funniest parts seem to be in the print version, which is well worth tracking down. My favorite exchange:

We’re now in the middle of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. Do you feel any responsibility for what’s happening?

Hey, markets is markets. Whatever happens in a market is what’s supposed to happen. You’re not supposed to interfere. That’s why they call the market the hidden hand. If I can see your hands, it’s communism.

 

Are you saying that what’s happening is good?

 

I’m saying if you hand a retard a pistol and he shoots himself, that’s the market. And markets are good.

 

So when it comes to the economy, your policy was to hand out pistols to retards.

 

All I’m saying is that if you did hand him a pistol, he might shoot himself and he might not. But if he does, that’s capitalism, and that’s the system we live by. It’s America.

John Hodgman Answers Questions At The New York Times

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

As part of the promotion for his new (and very funny) book, “More Information Than You Require,” author John Hodgman is answering questions at the New York Times City Room blog. Click here for the first installment, which includes an overview of hobo spices and the impact of sea serpent flatulence on Brooklyn weather.

Virtual Fold-Ins

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

I wrote back in April about the New York Times profile of renowned Mad magazine fold-in artist Al Jaffee, but I just noticed that they digitized a number of his fold-ins (you can even drag them into proper position using your mouse…ohhh, interactivity!)

Not all of the subject matter holds up; I prefer the earlier, anti-Vietnam stuff (and what’s up with the New York Times’ statement that “The Whitewater scandal haunted the Clinton White House for years”? Shouldn’t that be “scandal”?).

Still, it’s a fun selection from an incredible career.

Bush Makes Me Feel This Way Too

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

I thought today’s comic by Clay Bennett was great (from GoComics.com).

Clay Bennett Comic

Zadie Smith Loves Monty Python

Friday, January 9th, 2009

From the New Yorker, “Dead Man Laughing” is a personal essay by author Zadie Smith exploring her family’s fondness for British comedy. Her father, a lifelong “comedy nerd,” memorizes sitcom tapes and sketch LPs with the avidity of a collector. The darkness and resignation of British humor gives him a context to engage his own disappointments, all the way to the end.

“Genealogically speaking, Harvey had his finger on the pulse of British comedy, for Hancock begot Basil Fawlty, and Fawlty begot Alan Partridge, and Partridge begot the immortal David Brent. And Hancock and his descendants served as a constant source of conversation between my father and me, a vital link between us when, class-wise, and in every other wise, each year placed us farther apart. As in many British families, it was university wot dunnit. When I returned home from my first term at Cambridge, we couldn’t discuss the things I’d learned, about Anna Karenina, or G. E. Moore, or Gawain and his staggeringly boring Green Knight, because Harvey had never learned them—but we could always speak of Basil.”

After her father’s passing, Smith shifts the second half of the article to her brother’s attempts to become a stand-up comedian. In chronicling his efforts, she examines the framework of stand-up comedy, exploring how comedians create their material and often, finally, desert their craft in anger and sadness.

“Audiences love death-defiers like [Russell] Kane. It’s what they pay their money for, after all: laughs per minute. They tend to be less fond of those comedians who have themselves tired of the non-stop laughter and pine for a little silence. I want to call it “comedy nausea.” Comedy nausea is the extreme incarnation of what my father felt: not only is joke-telling a cheap art; the whole business of standup is, in some sense, a shameful cheat. For a comedian of this kind, I imagine it feels like a love affair gone wrong. You start out wanting people to laugh in exactly the places you mean them to laugh, then they always laugh where you want them to laugh—then you start to hate them for it. Sometimes the feeling is temporary. The comedian returns to standup and finds new joy in, and respect for, the art of death-defying. Sometimes, as with Peter Cook (voted, by his fellow-comedians, in a British poll, the greatest comedian of all time), comedy nausea turns terminal, and only the most difficult laugh in the world will satisfy. Toward the end of his life, when his professional comedy output was practically nil, Cook made a series of phone calls to a radio call-in show, using the pseudonym Sven from Swiss Cottage (an area of northwest London), during which he discussed melancholy Norwegian matters in a thick Norwegian accent, arguably the funniest and bleakest “work” he ever did.”

Lester Bangs on Fun House

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

To commemorate the passing of Stooges guitarist Ron Asheton, here’s a link to Lester Bangs’ very, very long Creem review of the Stooges Fun House: “Of Pop and Pies and Fun.”

It’s an interesting read, if tinged with the mania of the man and his times. Bangs presents the Stooges as authentics, aware of the self-parody of rock-star godhood, with Iggy serving their monster in the middle. He also riffs on them being the first band to formed before they really knew how to play, highlighting the freedom that ignorance unleashed on their music.

But the Stooges are one band that does have the strength to meet any audience on its own terms, no matter what manner of devilish bullshit that audience might think up (although they are usually too cowed by Ig’s psychically pugnacious assertiveness to do anything but gape and cringe slightly, snickering later on the drive home). Iggy is like a matador baiting the vast dark hydra sitting afront him—he enters the audience frequently to see what’s what and even from the stage his eyes reach out searingly, sweeping the joint and singling out startled strangers who’re seldom able to stare him down. It’s your stage as well as his and if you can take it away from him why, welcome to it. But the Kind of the Mountain must maintain the pace, and the authority, and few can. In this sense Ig is a true star of the most incredible kind—he has won that stage, and nothing but the force of his own presence entitles him to it.

Here’s this smug post-hippie audience, supposedly so loose, liberated, righteous and ravenous, the anarchic terror of middle Amerikan insomnia. These are the folks that’re always saying: “Someday, somebody’s gonna just bust that fucked up punk right in the chops!” And how many times have you heard people say of bands: “Man, what a shuck! I could get up there and cut that shit.”

Well, here’s your chance. The Stooge act is wide open. Do your worst, People, falsify Iggy and the Stooges, get your kicks and biffs. It’s your night!

Seeing the Stooges at South by Southwest in 2007 was a thrill—perhaps the most exciting show I’ve been to. Fun House ranks as one of the top rock albums of all time, ripping its way through “T.V. Eye,” “1970” and “Dirt.” And Ron Asheton was a big part of their sound, pushing the band forward with a mean, unforgettable fuzzed-out tone. He will be missed.

Update: Mark Deming of Allmusic.com has a great write-up as well, “Real Cool Time,” focusing specifically on Asheton.