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Vote Here, Because You Won't Get To Anywhere Else! What classic car chassis provides the best raft frame? |
Hello comrades, My minor surgical procedure has gone completely without incident. Through the care of our great society’s expert physicans (and their care isn’t just limited to me but spread throughout our society as we are a state of equals, I should be back up and giving six-hour rambling speeches in no time. In the unlikely event that my time has come, though, there are a few things I would like to get off my chest. 1. John F. Kennedy—that was all me. I don’t feel great about it, but the dude had it coming—he tried to kill me with an exploding cigar. That was the equivalent of me trying to take him out via a boozy starlet with big, vein-ridden breasts. 2. I never actually pitched in the New York Yankees minor league system. I actually spent two years as the number-two starter for the Chicago Cubs. I’ve been ashamed of that fact to this day. 3. Che was a true revolutionary, but he was a pain in the ass to hang out with. “Struggle” this, “revolution” that, but never a word for relaxing with a couple mojitos, a little son music, and some senoritas with big tamales. 4. Sometimes—and I admit I’m getting a little nostalgic on you here—sometimes I miss throwing dice at the Sans Souci. Bautista might have been an exploitative pig, but he was an exploitative pig with style. I used to put on my Panama hat and gold cufflinks and just toss until sunrise. Well, anyway, I’ve gotta be signing off—the doctors say I should be getting some rest. Talk to you later comrades. Fuck Miami and fuck W—I''ll outlast him too! Fidel
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