The Solution To America's Problems
In the coming months, America will be facing two serious problems, with no simple solutions in sight. However, a look at both problems could yield a solution that solves each and makes everyone happy. So, in order to find a balanced answer to the current issues of illegal immigration and programming for upcoming summer re-runs, I, Bobby D. Lux, propose a new genre of illegal immigration reality TV.
Survivor: Mexico/Texas border
A group of twenty illegals are forced to live in makeshift camps along the border and face physical and mental challenges to test their mettle. Each week the council votes off a member of the “familia” until one is granted amnesty into the States. That way, whoever wins will be tenacious, deceitful, cunning, and able to survive by making and breaking alliances. A perfect American.
One lucky audience member picks a wallet of out 35. Within one wallet only is a green card. From there, the contestant eliminates wallets and each time is given the option of living in other places in the world (besides the United States). When it comes down to the final two wallets: the contestant chooses...if the initially chosen wallet has a green card: welcome, you have the luck of an American. If not: we didn't want you in the first place!
Seven strangers are picked to live in a pueblo. Watch what happens when then have to work together to form their own branch of the Minutemen. Can they balance the pressure of a new job, or will the allure of bars and hot roommates prove to be too much...when people stop being polite, and start being Real!
Watch as a successful illegal immigrant helps a lost and troubled teenager who has aspirations of illegally crossing the border. Their made coach will give them the freshest gear, show them the tricks of the trade, and provide the self-confidence needed to be a young border jumper...and hopefully help the young person get a date for the prom in the process!
Sixteen of the top amateur middleweight and light heavyweight border guards are given the chance of a lifetime to win a six-figure contract and fulfill their dream of becoming an Ultimate Border Guard as they're coached by two of the best guards in the world.