The Lost Seinfeld Episodes

by Larry Gaffney

Elaine dates a werewolf. George’s father is diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer.

Newman wins a Pushcart nomination for his short story, “I, Mailman.” Kramer takes a job beheading dogs and cats at a Chinese restaurant.

George gets contact lenses, but they are uncomfortable. Uncle Leo is found beaten to death in an alley.

During vacation, Jerry’s parents are stranded in Mogadishu. At a book signing, Elaine has a fistfight with Camille Paglia.

Jerry and George have a lengthy discussion about nostril hair. Elaine is stung by Putty’s pet scorpion.

Jerry discovers mouse droppings in the silverware drawer. At the viewing for George’s father, Kramer is hit with stomach flu and vomits into the casket.

Kramer develops an interest in autoerotic strangulation. Jerry & George perform an unfunny Abbott & Costello routine at Yeshiva University.

© 2006 Larry Gaffney, All Rights Reserved.