Rocky Balboa Launches Into Inspirational Speeches Too Frequently

by Ralph Gamelli

Yo, stay on the line there, fella. I ain’t interested in your long distance rates, but that don’t mean ya roll over and stop tryin’. A fighter don’t hang up his gloves and a phone solicitator don’t hang up his phone, no matter how many shots they take on the chin, else they’re both bums. I said no eight or nine times an’ ya rolled over an’ became a punchin’ bag, not a puncher.

Let me tell ya somethin’. Telemarketeering is a rough, mean world, ya know? It punches hard an’ ya gotta punch back, else maybe ya end up sendin’ unwanted brochures through the mail instead.

Cowards do that, not men. And I know ya ain’t no coward.

I believe in ya, but ya gotta believe in yourself or ya ain’t nuthin’, not even some piece of street trash who harasses decent people on their phones when they’re tryin’ to eat their dinner. Now you rest up and think hard ‘bout what I said and call back when you’re ready to mix it up again.

*

Keep off the grass?

Yo, call me punchy for talking back to a sign, but who are youse to stop me from doin’ what I gotta do, which is to walk over this here grass? Maybe you’re just doin’ your job—an bein’ a sign is good honest work if you can get it—but ain’t nobody got the right to set limits on another person like that.

A guy’s gotta do what his gut tells him to do, so I’m gonna train hard and work my way up from the bottom and pay my dues, and some day I’ll be back to walk over that grass youse protectin’. Maybe I’ll go the distance and maybe I won’t, but if I don’t go for it,

I ’ll be just another bum who lets signs boss him around, which is the lowest kind of bum.

*

I can’t win no big money on a scratch ticket. The odds are too high against me. But that don’t matter. I just wanna prove somethin’.

The only thing I wanna do is win back the five bucks I spent on this here ticket. Nobody’s ever won back their five bucks. If I scratch this ticket an’ it’s still worth the five bucks I paid for it, I’m gonna know then I weren’t just another bum from the neighborhood.

Scratch

Yo! Twenty thousand bucks!

 

© 2007 Ralph Gamelli, All Rights Reserved.

 

 


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